Asking for help, Grief and Loss, It's ok to not be ok, Unhelpful Thoughts

Overcoming Grief And Loss- ‘A constant knife through the heart’ – Leah’s Story

Not long after Leah lost her wonderful Dad, I moved to Spain- despite being  friends for many years we saw each other infrequently but have an enduring friendship that doesn’t need constant contact. Leah was one of the first people to visit me in Spain and we spent the time catching up and having fun. When she did talk about her dad it was brief and it was clear she didn’t really want to discuss it and I respected her personal grieving process.

One year later she came to visit again and it was upsetting to see that she was still grieving almost as much, if not worse than the previous year. Friends are very different to clients in that its very personal and hard to see them upset but realising how much Leah was still struggling with her grief I broached the subject. Knowing my questions would provoke guttural cries and unimaginable pain I knew that helping her talk and identify specifically what was stopping her from healing, she would start to feel better whilst remaining loyal to her dad’s memory……

“My situation has been for the last 4 years that I lost my Dad. It was very sudden and therefore a horrendous shock.

Jill has been a friend of mine for the last 20 years. You’d think this would make things easier to talk to someone you are close with, its actually harder sometimes. To truly open up and tell people how you are feeling about a situation, that is unique to everyone, is actually very hard.

Certain aspects of feeling his loss will always remain in some way. You learn to make them a part of you and your everyday life. Other parts are just like a constant knife through the heart and a “no light at the end of the tunnel” feeling that you carry round like a huge weight on a day to day  basis.

This was the part I needed help with, this was the part that the grief was so huge that I really didn’t know what to do.

Jill helped me immensely. Not only in different ways to look at a situation but different paths to take when a very real negativity takes over. It’s all about your approach and Jill taught me that. I can honestly say that today I sit here with a very different outlook.

With Jill’s help I now know how to combat my pain when it arises which makes for a happier existence all round. She puts you at extreme ease and you end up speaking about things that you probably never thought you would, and she helps you through those too.

Sharing my experiences with Jill has been amazing and I’ll continue my journey with her by my side”.

Grief is personal, doesn’t have a time limit, doesn’t have a ‘fix it’ formula and can be so overwhelming. However, there is light at the end of the tunnel and there are things you can do to help you through the process and the guilt of moving on. If you or someone you know needs help, please get in touch, you’re not alone.

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