Asking for help, crying, It's ok to not be ok

Why I Love and Encourage Crying

The other day I allowed myself a full on ugly cry. A good friend messaged me with a generic ‘hey, how are you?’ and I hit the call button knowing what was coming and actually craving the release. Some words were spilling out as I tried to make sense of how I felt. I had that feeling that someone was stood on my chest. I spilled out a list of things; a series of event that had broken my spirit… it happens. 

Despite having all the tools and knowledge to help myself to feel better, a significant part of that process is acknowledging the fact that ‘I’m not ok’. When certain clients cry I know I’ve asked ‘that question’ that one that unearths their true reason for contacting me for help. Perhaps they couldn’t quite put their finger on it or it was just too painful, too deeply hidden or too scary to say out loud fearing they would cry. 

Crying is a super powerful emotion that I exercise daily! Seriously, everyday. I’ve joked with a friend (another fellow crier) that I could be a professional mourner. I could turn up to a funeral of someone I’ve never met and cry like a child. It’s not that I’m a depressive person; it’s just that I’m deeply connected to my feelings and others too. It’s not just sad tears; I cry when I’m happy too! When I see someone succeed, a kind gesture or a good love story; it gets me every time. 

6 Reasons I love and encourage crying:

1. Since birth, crying is a sign that we are alive!  Being in touch with our emotions and the emotions of others is an important human behaviour.  It doesn’t have to be a negative thing; it’s an expression beyond words.  ‘Crying is how your heart speaks when your lips can’t describe the feeling’

2. Tears are self-medicating.  Crying releases oxytocin and endorphins, happy chemicals that make you feel better instantly! Tears cried when we are stressed or frustrated actually contain stress hormones and toxins. It’s actual science at play here, helping you to feel better after a good cry. 

3. Crying provides a physical release and also eases both physical and emotional pain. In this way, crying can help reduce pain and promote a sense of well-being. It’s your body’s way of dispelling negative feelings and tension. 

4. Crying is a reality check and a catalyst for action. It’s the start of facing up to how you’re feeling. We are all guilty of swallowing tears, holding back emotions, counterproductive escapism, employing coping strategies, hiding how we really feel but after a good cry passes we can start to take positive actions and move on.

5. Crying is like servicing a debt. If you don’t pay your debts, they grows. Suppressing negative feeling, putting on a brave face or failing to acknowledge that you’re not happy and therefore doing nothing about it is really bad for your health and eventually that debt will bite you on the bottom! 

6. Crying demonstrates to others that you’re vulnerable and brave all at the same time. I’m not embarrassed to admit that I cry as this shows other that it’s an emotion I’m very comfortable with. I’m always available for friends and family when they need a good cry in a non-judgemental, supportive environment.  

So, the next time you feel like crying, do it! Don’t apologise for it, go with it! Once the tears pass (and they always do) you head will feel clearer and you can start to make sense of what is happening to make you feel sad. This part is sometimes easier said than done and that where I can help. 

So many people I’ve helped have admitted that they waited so long to contact me because they either couldn’t find the words to explain how they felt or because they were worried they might cry. Worry no more, crying is very much admired, welcomed and encouraged here. 

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